I wasn’t lying
If you ever feel bad just remeber there is a gif of me floating around tumblr of when I was 8 and I sat on the escalator and knocked down a table of jewelry at macys
OMG this is too much, i love it . LOL
I am a literature student and I have tears of laughter in my eyes
"Oh, to be toilet paper, that I might touch that cheek."
"Do you wipe your bum at us, sir?"
"No, sir, I do not wipe my bum at you, sir, but I wipe my bum, sir."
"Diarrhea on both your houses!"
"How silver-sweet sound lovers’ toots by night,
Like the softest music to attending ears.”